Confession: I'm Tired of Trying to Do Good...In The Church...Already (Galatians 6:9-10)

Hello faithful "Reflections..." readers!  Of course it goes without saying, but I'll say it again, it seems like a mighty long time since I've written.

I've been in both good and bad spirit since the end of last week and the beginning of this week.  But, God is good, I'm alive, and my spirit was so refreshed and renewed this morning that I felt like reflecting, so here I am.

I don't think that I've shared with you all why I stopped attending church for so long, so I'll take the time to let you in on the story.  First, I grew up in the church...EVERY SUNDAY, Thursday choir rehearsal, and Saturday "Youth on Fire".  I loved it.  But, something happened along the way, somewhere around the age of 16.  I'll give you a sec to do the math...YES, it has been FIFTEEN years since I actually belonged to and have gone to church regularly.  Anywho...I stopped going for very specific reasons. I AM NOT SAYING I WAS RIGHT, I'm just telling y'all my story.   Those reasons varied, most of them had to do with the church politics, people, and the biggest one was that I felt that I had just outgrown the church, I wasn't being fed.  And that's not to say it was a bad church, it's actually an awesome church, just wasn't for me anymore.  So, instead of looking for another church home, I was a "religious non-church goer".

Fast forward to today.  I'm back in the church, ready to join ministries, thirsty for and maturing in the word...all that things that I had hoped for in a church.  I'm a helpful person by nature.  So when I joined this church (or even BEFORE I joined) I was already volunteering myself to help out in different ministries.  Suddenly, things started looking too familiar. 

Egotistical, territorial, "what you think you doin'?, "what is your REAL motive o_0?", (among many other) spirits ALL OVER THE PLACE!  Let me tell you, trying to work with church folks has GOT TO BE SOME OF THE HARDEST WORK YOU COULD EVER SIGN UP FOR! Yes, I'm...TALKIN' 'BOUT THE CHURCH FOLKS, and I AIN'T SHAME!

When you are doing work in the church, you should NOT feel like this:

As some of you may or may not know, I will walk away from something in a minute.  It does not take me long to make a decision to retreat or stay at ALL! Fight or flight?...FLIGHT...I'M GONE!  However, I know that I'm growing spiritually, because I have not, and do not intend on walking away, by choice or by force.

So, this morning, I prayed and got still.  Suddenly the Spirit said, "Let not your heart be weary".  I jumped up, and immediately found where it says that in the Bible. FOUND IT: Galatians 6:9-10.  And I'll be darned if it is not referring to doing good things for people of faith.  I like both the NKJ and Amplified versions.  Here it is:

Galatians 6:9-10 

King James Version:



⁹ And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. ¹⁰ Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith.

Amplified Version:

⁹And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint.

    ¹⁰So then, as occasion and opportunity open up to us, let us do good [morally] to all people [not only being useful or profitable to them, but also doing what is for their spiritual good and advantage]. Be mindful to be a blessing, especially to those of the household of faith [those who belong to God's family with you, the believers].

Now that I can honestly admit that the "church folks" is essentially one of the top reasons why I stopped attending, I must stay prayed up in my spirit to not let that happen again.  Just a little reminder: As I type this, even as I prayed this morning the Devil is/was certainly close, watching and listening, and planning an attack.  But I can always ONE UP him if I remain in prayer and in the word, he will certainly be REBUKED!

It all makes sense.  SELF CHECK/REFLECTION:  I am working on behalf of and through the Trinity, not the people in the church.  Not to gain favor in man, but to gain favor in the Lord.  Not to reap any blessings from them, but to be blessed in due season by the Lord.  Therefore, just as the scripture has told me, I CANNOT become relaxed in my courage to even step up and do works in the church, and be a blessing to any person or ministry as a whole.  With that said, I will continue to volunteer myself or accept requests for help within the church...or boldly deny the ones that I simply may not be able to do.  I will not lose heart and grow weary while doing good.  For in due season I WILL reap...

IF I DO NOT LOSE HEART!...pray for me

 

Be Content While You Wait for Your Blessing (1 Timothy 6:6-12)

Once again, it has been less than a week since I have posted, and yet it feels like I haven't "reflected" in weeks.  Trust me, just within this short 7 days ago, I have been reflecting like you will not believe!  There's lots to post about, but I'll start with what has been resting with me for the last past few days.

When I pray, I make sure that I thank God for EVERYTHING He has truly blessed me with...right after I have asked for forgiveness and prayed for my friends and family, and before I lift myself up and bring my own prayer requests before the Lord.  It seems like the perfect location.  So, I have a few things that I have been praying for lately, at the top of the list right now is completing the process of owning a home.  I ask God to please have HIS hand on the process, and let HIS will be done...even if that means this is not the year for me to purchase a home.

A few days ago, as I prayed, I asked God to lead me to what I should be focusing on through this process, and all of the other "desires of my heart" that I have put before Him.  Sure enough, I open up my trusted anointed "Woman Thou Art Loosed" Bible (that would be the one that look like it has survived a few natural disasters ...if you don't have one yet, YOU WILL) and sure enough the first thing I ran across was an article about being content that was attached to 1 Timothy 6. 

Now, there were SO MANY things that I will definitely come back and post about from this chapter of Timothy, one of which being the first four verses that speaks about not being disrespectful to those in leadership positions. 

***Let us pause for a "GOD IS WORKING ON ME" MOMENT***:

I have had an authoritative complex since I was a child, and it is not good.  It did, and has continued to get me into trouble both knowingly and unknowingly.  It's not that I am disrespectful to leaders, or do not like to take direction...it's the whole "pull rank" aspect that I have ALWAYS had a problem with.  I know this is something that I need to pray and work on, and something that could definitely block blessings that are mine to have.  Help me lawd!

***We now return to the scheduled post...pray for me***   

Anywho...CONTENTMENT!  1 Timothy 6:6-12 (Amplified version) reads:

⁶[And it is, indeed, a source of immense profit, for] godliness accompanied with contentment (that contentment which is a sense of ^[d]inward sufficiency) is great and abundant gain.

    ⁷For we brought nothing into the world, and obviously we cannot take anything out of the world;

    ⁸But if we have food and clothing, with these we shall be content (satisfied).

    ⁹But those who crave to be rich fall into temptation and a snare and into many foolish (useless, godless) and hurtful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction and miserable perishing.

    ¹⁰For the love of money is a root of all evils; it is through this craving that some have been led astray and have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves through with many ^[e]acute [mental] pangs.

    ¹¹But as for you, O man of God, flee from all these things; aim at and pursue righteousness (right standing with God and true goodness), godliness (which is the loving fear of God and being Christlike), faith, love, steadfastness (patience), and gentleness of heart.

    ¹²Fight the good fight of the faith; lay hold of the eternal life to which you were summoned and [for which] you confessed the good confession [of faith] before many witnesses.

I sat there, and I meditated on this.  Suddenly, I realized, I have been thanking God for what He has blessed me with, but I have NOT been showing that I am CONTENT with what he has blessed me with.  Am I content?  Well, sure I am.  Do I ACT  LIKE I'M CONTENT?...YES!  That is EXACTLY what I do...I "ACT" like I am content.  There is ALWAYS a "but". "Lord...thank you for me having a place to stay...but (it's too small, I need a second bedroom, and quiet neighbors)";  "Lord...thank you for having a job...but (I am so ready to move on, and get  a better salary, and be in a leadership position)"; Lord...thank you for clothes on my back...but (dang, I sure would like to have those Donna Karen slacks I saw at Macy's".  And although these BUT is not said out loud, it is sure in the depths of my heart...and He sees that better than He sees ANYTHING.  And He is certainly saying "If you don't get your BUT out of here!!"  And it make sense for Him to say so.  Think about this: Once you say "but" in ANY sentence, it negates whatever you said before that "but".  So, whatever you said before  but, no longer matters, you may as well have not even said it! (Go ahead...I'll give you a moment to test it out...)

No big epiphany, just a simple conclusion after reflecting.  I simply need to START ACTUALLY BEING, NOT "ACTING" like I am CONTENT.  I need to sit myself down somewhere and be content with my one bedroom apartment and my noisy neighbors, my job that I have definitely learned so many things on, and my clothes that at least fit and are presentable!

So, right now, God is simply saying to me,

"MaNesha, your blessings and the desire of your hear will come in due time.  Meanwhile, why don't you just be content with what you have?  Love on that coffee table that look like you have three kids and it's only you... go home and twist the door knob to your apartment that you loved when you first moved in (now all of a sudden it's TOO SMALL o_0) and fall in love with it again.  And when you look around, I would have blessed you with that two bedroom condo that you want because you have shown me that you appreciate and are content with WHATEVER I bless you with...because I HAVE BLESSED YOU!  And another thang...you got some things that you could be working on.  You see verses 11-12? Have you been aiming at righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, and gentleness of heart?  And let us NOT EVEN talk about your faith! The last thing you should be "buting" about are material things, get that SPIRIT right!" 

And so it is Lord.  I will certainly start working on being content with the things that You have blessed me with, NO "BUTS" about it!

That's all folks! 
Be content and you will surely be blessed!  HE said it, NOT ME!

       

If He Didn't Tell Me First, He Didn't Tell You!: The Gift of Discernment



It feels like I haven't written for days, but it's actually been less than a week :).  I got to the topic of discernment in a round about way, I was actually preparing to write about how difficult it can be for Christians to handle those people who refuse to accept the NEW YOU in your walk.  I'll come back to that another day...don't let me forget!!  This actually would've been my first time writing and then finding scriptures, because I always get hit with something that I've read in the Word, and then write. 

As I searched for Bible verses, I ran across 1John 4:1.  It reads:

"Beloved do not put faith in every spirit, but prove (test) the spirits to discover whether they proceed from God; for many false prophets have gone into the world. (Amplified Version)

This isn't a "discovery", I've read this Bible verse many times before, but this time it took me back...it "hit" me.  Let me say that after I write this post, I am letting the situation go.  Forgiveness is a must!  Consider this my final therapy session with Trinity Counselors Theraputic Services...that would be The Father, The Son, and the Holy Spirit...free of charge...check them out, they're AWESOME! 

Without divulging too many details (so much for being "transparent" huh...?), not so long ago I made some decisions in my life, allowed some people into my life based partially on what a couple of people with a "prophetic gift" told me.  Sound foolish, right?  Well...not since I trusted, and believed their insight was truly given from the Lord.  I had no reason NOT to believe.  And, who's to say it wasn't.  I'm just saying, it didn't come to pass...or hasn't come to pass...? Won't...?  Can't...?  I don't know.  You see those question marks all over the place...it's called LACK OF DISCERNMENT, and there is NOTHING remotely fun about it.

I emerged from the situation MAD AS HE**.  But, guess what?  I was more mad at me, than them!!  So the forgiveness is actually more of me forgiving myself and them as well.  But I haven't beat them up in my conscience HALF as much as I beat myself up.  We all have had situations where it's hard to forgive ourselves for putting ourselves in no so pleasant situations, or allowing someone else to.  If you haven't, keep living it WILL happen.  The enemy comes in many forms and disguises, we just need to stay prayed up and ask for DISCERNMENT!  Shoot, I even pray on a regular that God protect ME FROM ME!

Anyways, I learned one big lesson from this experience, and that is:

IF GOD DID NOT TELL ME FIRST, HE DIDN'T TELL YOU EITHER!   

This is why it's so very important for us to not only pursue a personal relationship with Him, but to also ask and pray for discernment.  Consider these  Bible verses:

Proverbs 2:6-9 6For the Lord gives skillful and godly Wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding.

7He hides away sound and godly Wisdom and stores it for the righteous (those who are upright and in right standing with Him); He is a shield to those who walk uprightly and in integrity,

8That He may guard the paths of justice; yes, He preserves the way of His saints.

9Then you will understand righteousness, justice, and fair dealing [in every area and relation]; yes, you will understand every good path.

Jeremiah 29:13Call to Me and I will answer you and show you the great and mighty things, fenced in and hidden, which you do not know 9do not distinguish and recognize, have knowledge of, or understand)

John 16:1313But when He, the Spirit of Truth (the Truth-giving Spirit) comes, He will guide you into all the Truth (the whole, full Truth). For He will not speak His own message [on His own authority]; but He will tell whatever He hears [from the Father; He will give the message that has been given to Him], and He will announce and declare to you the things that are to come [that will happen in the future].


When I pray now, I ask for God to reveal HIS will to me, so that even if someone comes to me with something about me, prophetic or not, I can discern between if its something that I should take to heart, question, or completely dismiss.  I suggest you do the same.

God will reveal what He wants you to know through various different avenues.  They include:

• The Word
• Praying and talking to Him...then LISTENING and MEDITATING (This is so important, and something I need to work on.  Hearing from God is not a "special gift".  WE ALL CAN DO IT, if we take the time out to let HIM speak to our spirit.
• God will speak to you in your DREAMS, CONVICTIONS, and VISIONS

Even if he has to yell at you in some way, which you do not want Him to do that, HE WILL GET THE MESSAGE TO YOU!

Yes, it is ok to follow the Godly advice from others.  Usually that guidance or advice, even if it is about your future can be supported in the Word.  But, when you get it from Him, the questions and doubts about what they are telling you do not exist, they are erased.  He is NOT A LIAR and he sends the Spirit of Truth.

Now that I realize this, I can honestly say that I forgive myself, and those who may or may not have been "prophetic" in their words.  But I do know this...

HE DIDN'T TELL ME, SO HE DIDN'T TELL YOU!

*Now if he tells ME later on, we can revisit this post.  Until then, stay encouraged, be blessed, and pray for DISCERNMENT!  Luv y'all!!

Where is Your Heart (YOUR STUFF). . . Do You Know? (Proverbs 4:23)

Proverbs 4:23 is posted RIGHT in front of me on my desk.  I can't even remember (or maybe I don't WANT to) why I put it there...I'm sure it had something to do with my heart.  Sometimes I find myself just staring at it...like it's this "deep" scripture.  So, today, I decided to think of a few interpretations for this verse.  I found a few on some Bible sites, and went from there.  I strongly believe that Bible is relative to who's reading it.  One person can read a Bible verse and depending on what they are going through in life, it could mean something COMPLETELY different to them.  Is that right? Well...who knows.  The only person who REALLY knows what the interpretations are is the person who wrote it.  All we can do is pray for understanding and discernment as we read.  Anyways, the scripture reads:

"Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it springs the issues of life".

*Some translations use the word "guard" in place of "keep" and "flow" in place of "springs"

I'll save MY INTERPRETATION of this verse for the end...a little hump day surprise...although I'm sure the title will give you some sort of clue of what this verse means to me right now.

Interpretation (1): "Keep" your heart.

Literally, keep you heart, the same way you "keep" your house.  Now, if your house is dirty, then by all means, you may not want to keep you heart the same way.  On occasion, I may let my apartment get a little out of control if I have lots of stuff going on.  I mean, it's only me who has to be there right?  Well, when I think of it this way, sometimes I let my heart get messy as well. I'm not proud of it, it's just true.  There are days, just like my apartment, that I don't want to let anyone see what's going on in my heart, or they would think I was a trifling mess.  But, also like my apartment,  after a few days, I get sick of looking at it, and have to clean it.  Same goes with my heart.  I get sick of carrying around something that I KNOW needs to be cleaned.  Those are the days that I have to get in prayer and ask God to renew and cleanse my heart...and mean it.  You ever "straightened up" instead of "cleaned up"?  Yeah, one is much different than the other.  I'll leave it at that.  Moral: A clean heart is free of dirt, which will lead to a dirty life...or "being messy"...o_0 

Interpretation (2): Physically...keep your heart, for out it springs the issues of life.

Yep, could do better with this one...considering I just had a buffalo chicken samich (<<<not a typo) for lunch.  We all have taken at least one anatomy class in our lives, so we know the heart is where it all starts.  It pumps blood to our body, organs and all.  If the heart isn't healthy, then everything else is just down hill from there, and "issues of life" will mean something completely different when you have to physically fight for it. Moral: STAY HEART HEALTHY!

Ok...((((insert DRUM ROLL HERE)))))))

MY INTERPRETATIONS

"Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it springs the issues of life".
...just in case you forgot the verse :)

I immediately interpreted this (no matter when I read it) with sharing your heart in various ways, which is why I asked the question: Do you know where your heart, or your STUFF is? In the raw, I would say to myself: "MaNesha, giiiiiiirl you need to START WATCHING WHO YOU LEAVE YOUR HEART UNGUARDED FOR!! 

Interpretation (1): Your heart or your MOUTH...?

I'm very transparent about my feelings, sometimes to a fault.  I mean, what's there to hide.  No one is a mind reader, and sometimes talking about the "issues of your heart" is a good thing...until those issues show back up when you don't want them to.  Now, some people are just messy hearted (scroll back up and get an idea of what this means), and you have to find out the hard way that you probably shouldn't "let it all flow" with them.  It's a lesson worth learning.  A prayer of discernment is a good starting place. Moral: Keep your MOUTH with all diligence, for out of it springs the issues of life.

Interpretation (2): "Keep/Guard" your heart
Have you ever given your heart to someone, and then found yourself saying, "I WANT MY HEART BACK!"...or "...NOW HOW DID MY HEART GET LIKE THIS?" or "I HAVE NOT SEEN MY HEART IN MONTHS, WHERE IS IT?"  Well..dear...it's probably with someone who is aware that they have it and does not want to return it, or is unaware that they have it and therefore can't return it. And it got "like this" because you gave it to someone who isn't going to keep it like you can or how you thought they would...sort of like letting someone borrow your car, and they know good and well you don't like smoke, but your car smell like cigarettes when you get it back...? o_0....just trifling.  Or, when you give your heart to someone and they don't even know where it is anymore...like your favorite CD that you let your friend borrow thinking they wouldn't lose it....like they lose theirs...?  Right....so if someone doesn't care enough to keep their heart in a safe place, what do you think they'll do with yours.  I trifling mess.

Definition of Trifling (tri-fl-ing): To attend to something as if it was of little significance or importance

*that's from memory not Webster's...or from memory VIA Webster's how 'bout that
Moral: Keep your heart, don't give it away to just anyone...or you will have a spring of issues in your life



That's all folks.  Hope this made you laugh on this lovely Wednesday afternoon, because I sure laughed typing it!  SMOOCHES!





    





Don't Think , Just GO! The Woman and The Alabaster Box (Luke 7:37-50)

ASIDE: What a crazy last week, the enemy was on a rampage, so I stayed prayed up, made it through, and couldn't wait to go to church.  Of course it was awesome, and here I am, in another week, and last week seems very insignificant.  At any rate...

I honestly can't remember if I read the story of the woman and the alabaster box on Saturday or Sunday morning, I got my private praise on both mornings, so who knows :).  Doesn't matter when I read it, it registered and stayed with me, and so here I am again "reflecting".

Read the story The Woman and The Alabaster Box (click the title) and then jump back here for my reflection.  If you've already read it, even better, sit back and reflect with me.  Here we go...

First, this story made me weep after I sat for awhile and really thought about what I read.  I placed myself in the woman's shoes, it wasn't hard to do, I think we had some things in common.  All kinds of thoughts raced through my head (again)...

I wondered, "what was going through her head as she prepared to go see Jesus?"  I mean, sista girl was DEFINITELY NOT ON THE GUEST LIST...of anyone... let alone a Pharisee.  First, she was a woman.  I can't say for sure, but I can gather from what I was taught (good 'ol NPU) that women would not have been found anywhere near this scene.  And to top it off, she was a "sinning woman"...the SCANDAL of it all, right?  I would imagine she had been thinking about this opportunity for some time, or waiting for it to present itself, either that or (like so many of us) she has tried everything to experience peace within her very soul, only to end up in a never ending cycle of mess, and people thinking terrible things about her.  Whatever it was, she didn't care, she went!! GET TO JESUS must've been going through her head. 

How did she know who He was? It doesn't say.  Did she hear about Him from others?  Had she heard that He was the Great Healer?  Had she fallen in love with Him, or with the mere thought of someone who would not judge her, forgive her sins, and love her in spite of all that she has done to gain such a reputation?  Just thinking about such a person probably made her weep, considering everyone else in town shunned her to no end.  I'm sure she had to take just a few seconds to gather herself before she left.  "This is a great man", she thought. "I have to bring to Him the very best I have to offer".  Sure, she could've chosen the less expensive oils she had to anoint His feet.  Shoot, the people that He was with didn't offer Him anything, and He called them out on it! (V. 45-46...I chuckled when I read that).

She left her home.  Did she get nervous and think to turn around, or did she charge forward nonstop? I only ask, because knowing myself, I would've thought twice and turned around.  (Keep that "reflection" in mind). 

I can imagine what it must've been like when she arrived.  The stares, the whispers, the sheer thoughts of "how dare this harlot!!".  I wondered as I read: "how many people are thinking the same things about me within and outside of the "holy" places I enter?".  Ones who know me, and ones who don't...if we could get a clue somewhere in the scripture, I bet we'd be surprised to find out that most of the people sitting with Jesus didn't "know" the woman either.

Funny thing, no one SAID ANYTHING.  But, they were thinking it, and Jesus heard their thoughts.  *Mmmhhmmm...those thoughts we have...? Oh, He hears those. You didn't know?  Good, bad, or indifferent, He hears them just the same!  And he called them out (Jesus loves to do that doesn't He?...always calling someone out...LOL!) by asking Simon about the lender who forgave his two debtors, one owing him 500 the other 50 denarii. His question: Which one of them would love him more?  Simon answered the one who he forgave and cancelled more. *Simon was something else, I'm sure there was a "really Jesus?" tone to his voice...Ok if it wasn't just act like it was, it makes for a better story.

*Sorry for the "scatter brain" moment.  Remember this is MY BLOG and MY REFLECTIONS, and if I have a scatter brain moment, just ride it out, I'll get back to the point.  I digress...

It wasn't so much that the Pharisee was having an inner thought, it was WHAT he was thinking.  He thought that if Jesus was really who He said He was, there is no way that He would let this "notorious sinning woman" (as the Amplified Bible put it) touch Him.  Well...Mr. Pharisee, SHE IS EXACTLY WHO HE WOULD LET, AND WANT TO TOUCH HIM!  People like her are the people that He wants to deliver first, and most.  They need it and appreciate it even more when He does (V. 47). And get this, the Word says that she came from behind Him, and began anointing His feet with her tears and fragrant oil.  So, it is possible that the first time Jesus laid eyes upon her, was not until he turned to her and compared her actions to those who he had broken bread with (V. 44).  If that is true...HE HADN'T PHYSICALLY LAID EYES UPON HER, AND ALREADY HE ACKNOWLEDGED HER ACTIONS, ACCEPTED HER, AND FORGAVE HER! Sorry, I don't know why, but that made me excited! 

If I could kiss and anoint His feet with my tears and expensive oil, just as she did, I would.  When I think of how good He's been, I could weep.  How unworthy I am, but He blesses and keeps me anyway, and He listens, and comforts me.  All I can do is thank Him, praise and worship Him.

Evan as I write that, I still can't help but think of the thoughts that others have about me, and I pray that I, (just as she was) will be released from caring about the thoughts of others.  THINK ABOUT IT: Had she been consumed by the thoughts of others.  She would've been scared or ashamed to go to the place of the Pharisees, and she would've missed her opportunity to be in the presence of the Prince of Peace, who granted her just that... PEACE through forgiving her sins!

If you don't take anything else from this remember: No matter how many wrong choices you have made, He loves you enough to forgive you.  He never turned around to see who this woman was, but He knew that she needed and LOVED Him more than anyone in that room, and she was willing to risk everything, even her life to get to Him.

So, GET TO HIM (I'm saying this to myself too!!).  Stop worrying about what people will think and say about you.  You have nothing to else to lose, and He definitely isn't a losing bet.  And when you get to Him, GIVE HIM YOUR BEST and YOUR ALL!  Go within yourself, get your INTERNAL ALABASTER BOX down off the shelf, and GIVE Him the best PRAISE and ANOINTENCE YOU CAN OFFER HIM, HE DESERVES IT! He's WAITING to say to YOU, just as he did her:

"Your faith has saved you, go into peace" (v. 50)

     

Severing and Saving Soul Ties



Soul ties, yet another hard issue for me to deal with on my walk, and yet another process that I am willing to be transparent about.  I'm not going to dwell too much on this, because God is telling me it's time for me to focus on what's on fire in me right now, and that's Him preparing me to have that Biblical marriage that I know He wants for me.

However, I do believe that many single women, (especially those of us who are Christian) are, or have suffered from the effects of soul ties.  So, what I did was did a few days of research on soul ties.  I'll post the websites that I visited under Pages: Soul Ties....over there to the right>>>>.  If you are reading this, and are suffering from a soul tie (either knowingly or unknowingly) I hope it helps you begin your journey of asking God to free you from those ties.

Just a quick overview of my personal story...

I've been thinking about soul ties for some time now, but never really felt the need to look into exactly what a soul ties is...until this past Saturday (March 10, 2010).  I was relaxing watching a little tv, heard a song, and BAAM!!! tears began to form in my eyes.  And I'm thinking to myself: "you have GOT to be kidding me, I am NOT sitting up here about to cry over this person...AGAIN!" At that point, I was so frustrated with MYSELF that I was FORCED to get to the root of what this is, because I cannot drop not another tear, or have not another minute of my thoughts being consumed against my own will, especially if I'm the only one in the situation suffering..NOT! I guess when you get tired enough, that's when God is about to start working with you for real...talk about "Loosed in the Fire!" So, the words "soul tie" just fell upon me, and I began researching that very day.  After researching I decided that I would need some spiritual help with this, and I called on one of the Evangelists at my church.  SHE WAS AWESOME, she was REAL, and after speaking to her, I knew that God lead me in the right direction!

What is a soul tie?

My first question was, "What exactly is a 'soul tie'?" I found out that there is actually no mention of the words soul tie in the Bible, but from what is described in the scripture (which I'll present a few in the different kinds of soul ties) is what is considered to be a soul tie.  A soul tie is when two souls are knitted together, becoming one flesh, or such things as this.  Although soul ties can form for many purposes, at the basis of soul ties is when two souls are joined together in the spiritual realm.

How do you know you are suffering from a soul tie?

Well, I knew I was suffering from a soul tie simply because I was SUFFERING!  Not by the hands of others, but by the hands of myself first, and definitely by the hands of the enemy.  I read that there are many ways you can identify if you are suffering from a soul tie.  These include allowing someone to manipulate or control you, being aware or unaware of what is going on, but for no real reason allowing it to continue.  Or, being preoccupied with someone (either from the past or present) in your mind, so that you cannot hear the Holy Spirit even if it was trying to get through to you.  Although these are only two examples, they are serious enough to cause you pain that you DO NOT have to keep suffering from!

Other symptoms include:

• Obsessive preoccupation with another, to the neglect of the things of the Lord
• Tendencies to be domineering and controlling in the relationship
• *Tendencies to be passive and apathetic in the relationship (easily manipulated)
• *Inability to truly forgive from the heart 
• Another person's voice playing over and over in the mind like a tape-recorder
• *Inability to bring a relationship under the godly order and control of the Holy Spirit
• *Patterns of anger, blame, and accusations in a relationship
  
  *Denotes the ones that have me entangled

Basically, if there is something in you that makes you want to "keep working at it" with someone who would soon enough cause you MORE pain, than bring any JOY into you life, you can believe you are suffering from a soul tie...ASK GOD TO RELEASE YOU FROM IT...NOW!     

What are the different types of soul ties?

There are two main types of soul ties, GODLY (together in the Lord: friends, marriage partners, believes to pastors etc.) and UNGODLY (the lack of 'God-centeredness between friends, parents and children, siblings, former romantic or sexual partners, etc.).  Under these two types there are many different kinds of soul ties, but for the most part they are going to definitely fall under one of the two.  I'll list the ones that pertain to me and/or my situation so that that you can get an idea of each one.

UnGodly Soul Ties

I'm only starting with unGodly soul ties because this is what lead me to post about this, and I think between the two, women (especially single Christian) suffer from unGodly soul ties above all.  I found many forms of unGodly form ties from researching, including unhealthy relationships, soul ties with the dead, and between parents and children.  BUT, again, the one that always topped the list was unGodly soul ties that were developed through umarital sex (or fornication...which ever term convicts you most...GO WITH THAT ONE!). And, since I'm being transparent as I promised, I will admit this is how I (and most of us) found myself in this situation, and in need of serious healing and deliverance.  

To get a picture of what an unGodly soul ties looks like in this way, I saw the story of Shechem and Dinah found in Genesis 34.  Shechem "defiled her" (which I'm sure meant raped her) and after doing so, the scripture said his "soul cleaved unto Dinah, and he loved the damsel, and spake kindly unto the damsel" (v. 3).  So basically, his SOUL began to LONG FOR HER!  Not because he KNEW that this was the woman that God wanted to bless him with, or because he wanted to be her husband because God placed it on his heart, but because their sexual involvement left the two of them SPIRITUALLY ENTANGLED, an unGodly entanglement!         

Let's STOP right here. 

If you have gotten to this point, and there is NO DOUBT in your mind that you need to start this process NOW and be freed from an UNGODLY SOUL TIE, I encourage you to

CLICK THE PICTURE BELOW and begin saying this prayer NOW!  I JUST STARTED MY DISENTANGLING PROCESS LAST NIGHT, and I'M ALREADY FEELING BETTER!  GOD is THAT GOOD!!  I know I have a LONG way to go, but just like many hard tasks in out life, getting started is the HARDEST part! 

GET YOUR HEART, MIND, and SOUL BACK RIGHT NOW in the NAME OF JESUS the GREAT RESTORER!!  

GODLY Soul Ties 

Godly soul ties are the ones that should be saved.  When you think of a Godly soul tie, think of ties that you have to your best friend.  A good example of these ties can be found in 1 Samuel between Jonathan and David. 

1 Samuel 18:1-3 (Amplified Version) ¹When David had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own life. ²Saul took David that day and would not let him return to his father's house. ³Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own life. ⁴And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, even his sword, his bow, and his girdle.

This reminds me of my friend Minah and I.  She is in Seattle, and I'm in Chicago.  But, we talk every day, we lift each other up in adversity, we pray with and for each other, we rejoice together, and no matter what, we always know there is nothing we wouldn't do for each other.  GODLY SOUL TIE!

Of course the next Godly soul tie is that of a marriage.  Adam and Eve is the first (may not be the BEST) example of a Godly soul tie between man and woman.

Genesis 2:21-24 (Amplified Version)
  ²¹And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam; and while he slept, He took one of his ribs or a part of his side and closed up the [place with] flesh.
    ²²And the rib or part of his side which the Lord God had taken from the man He built up and made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.
    ²³Then Adam said, This [creature] is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of a man.
    ²⁴Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

One pastor that wrote on this summed this idea up perfectly stating that this was the "old 'leave and cleave' passage.  He went on to explain: "From the very beginning God's intention has been that the man and woman's soul ties with their parents should be broken prior to marriage. What is that?  Because few things are as destructive to a marriage as when a partner or another is still emotionally tied, and often as a result, manipulated and controlled, by a meddlesome parent.  So, interestingly enough, we see that the first Bible reference to a soul tie is an admonition to BREAK a soul tie".         

'NOUGH SAID!  I've seen it happen far too many times.  WOMEN (and MEN) PRAY THAT THE SOUL TIE BETWEEN THE PARENTS AND THE PERSON GOD HAS BLESSED YOU WITH ARE BROKEN!  Of course in my opinion if the union is a Godly one, He'll take care of that before He brings the two of you together....but prayer doesn't hurt!

So, there you have it...soul ties in a nutshell.  Of course, I only scrapped the surface of such a deep subject, but now you know what a soul tie is, you know the different kinds, you know that you do not have to keep suffering if you are bound by one, and you even have a prayer to get you started.  My personal goal in going though this process is to become even CLOSER to the Father, and to make him the focus of my life; and also to be loosed from the ties that may hinder the relationship with the person that HE has for me, so that I can have that Biblical marriage that I want and deserve, and that HE definitely wants me to have! 

MOST OF ALL, you know that the Father wants nothing more than for you to be freed and to free you of this tie that you may be suffering from, and to cleave to HIM, the only one who your soul should TRULY BE TIED TO!

May the soul tie that has caused you pain be broken.

    

Loosed in the Fire (Daniel 3)

This morning while praying, I asked God to put on my heart what my next post should be.  "How about you actually do what you SAID you were going to do...Daniel 3"...enough said...so here I am.

I got the idea of looking closer at the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego after watching Joyce Meyer the other night. LOVE HER!  She only made a small reference to it, but it sparked an interest.  Once again, after reading it I thought, THIS ONE IS LOADED!!  So here we go!

First, read the Story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego (Daniel 3) (<<<click the title) .  Not that you don't already know it, but one good read deserves another...ok...that and even the overview was a little lengthy, and I want to get right to my reflections!! 

My biggest revelation while reading this story is how GOD CAN LOOSE US IN THE FIRE! 

In verses 20-21, it says that Shad, Mesh, and Abed were BOUND in all of their clothes before they were tossed into the furnace.  They were tied up.  But when they came out of the fire they were not bound (verse 26).  My thoughts?  God does some of the BEST work on us when we are going through the fire  and bound by our circumstances or situation, or even people.  I used to think that I would have to go through, and then AFTER I have gone (or go) through, that's when God would do the healing, reveal things to me, humble me, cause me to believe and trust Him more.  BUT, like Mesh, Shad, and Abed God will complete the process of loosing me from the situation, from my past, from people, from the enemy, and even from ME, when I am IN THE FIRE!  It's up to me to KNOW the difference and act accordingly after I have gone through.  I think many times after we go through, we don't even realize (at least I don't) that those binds are no longer there.  We are conditioned to not being able to function.  We are conditioned to cry, worry, be mad, and just be a down right complete mess.  But when we realize that God has loosed us, we can be free of those feelings.

My second biggest revelation is that after going through the fire, GOD CAN BRING US OUT ON THE OTHER SIDE, SHOWING NO SIGNS OF GOING THROUGH !
In verse 27, Nebuchadnezzar (I wonder did he EVER learn how to spell his name...it's awful) and his men were in awe at the fact that Shad, Mesh, and Abed showed no signs of being in the fire.  They didn't so much as SMELL like smoke...AWESOME!  It made me think...we are the same way.  When we go through the fire, and are delivered, God is so awesome at healing us that we never show any signs of going through.  Other people hear or know about your situation, and would be willing to bet their last dollar that you will surely look and/or feel like heck while and after you are in the fire.  You would be amazed at what kinds of fires I've gone through in my past, yet the smell of the smoke is not there.  It's like God has some kind of holy Fabreeze that takes care of that stench..."Heavenly Mist".  

I also thought about those people who like Neb and the crew are LOOKING and SMELLING to see if the signs of being in the fire are on you.  You know? Those people who are attracted to awkward smells, like gasoline, and magic markers that can actually make you high.  I believe there are some people (however awful they may be) who actually get high off the smell of your smoke.  They love when you show signs of being in the fire.  In fact, they would much rather be around you for their own high, than to be around you when you have been delivered with no signs.  Sounds crazy huh?  But I KNOW people like this.  If you have someone in your life like this, my advice...GET AWAY FROM THEM...ASAP! (***DING, DING, DING...next post subject...Letting Go of People in a Godly Way)          

Revelation number three, THE IDEA THAT JESUS IS RIGHT THERE IN THE FIRE WITH US US IS AWESOME!...verse 28

I don't know about anyone else, but being lonely when you are going through makes the experience that much more painful.  But, I think of it like this.  If He wouldn't have given his life, the pain we feel would probably be 100 times worse...of course I'll have to remind myself that the next time I'm going through.  Jesus is right there saying, "CALL ON ME! I'm the GREAT COMFORTER, THE GREAT LISTENER! You are in a state of confusion and turmoil in the presence of the PRINCE OF PEACE!"          

There are various other verses that jumped out at me, as I read this.  Some of the reflections that popped in my head were:

1) When I am asked to do something that is out of the will of God, I DO NOT have to justify why I have decided not to do so, even when others are questioning my God, and my faith. (Verses 15-16)Nebuchadnezzar ridiculed Shad, Mesh, and Abed and asked them if their god could deliver them from him. They simply said to him..."It is not necessary for us to answer you on this point".  How many headaches could I have saved myself if I would've just taken their approach with people who try to back me into a corner about my God, or my choices..."It is truly not necessary for me to answer you on this point"...I need to remember that one!

2) God can make sure that the very people who try to toss you into the fire, be the first ones to get burned. (Verse 21)
Of course we know that vengeance is not ours it's His.  And of course we do not take pleasure in seeing others suffer.  BUT, I know I have had PLENTY of it "it serves you right" thoughts towards people that I know have wished ill will against me and it ended up backfiring on them. I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying...

3) God sends His Son to walk with us in the fire!  And not only can you see Him, but other people (even nonbelievers) can see him too. (Verse 25)No explanation needed for this one!

I'll end this post with one of the last lines of this story, spoken by king Nebuchadnezzar himself, the one who wanted everyone to bow to his image in gold, the one who taunted Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego about their God, and the one who thus decided to have them thrown into the furnace for not doing so.  But even he had to admit...

"FOR THERE IS NO OTHER GOD WHO CAN DELIVER IN THIS WAY!"

Panicking on the Plan (John 16:12-15, Part 2)

STOP
If you have not already done so, read:
 "You Think You Wanna Know...But You Not Ready (John 16:12-15)
Click here 

But of course, it does not feel like that all the time, and our frustration turns in to shear panic!  We PANIC ABOUT THE PLAN!  All we think about is what's going wrong.  The little things in life start to feel like big waves.  We start to scurry around like the disciples on the Sea of Galilee, saying "Lord Jesus, WHERE ARE YOU, I'm OVERWHELMED!" The disciples began saying, "Go get Jesus! He's in the back sleeping!"  And, Jesus comes out like... "What is the big deal?"

We treat God like that don't we?  We get to the point where everything is going wrong, and we think, "God has GOT to be somewhere sleeping on the job".  I KNOW YOU SEE THESE STORMS AND WAVES ABOUT TO TAKE ME UNDER! Well..WHAT storms and waves?  Are they really there, or did you create them from all of your panicking?  I guess in the moment, the answer to that question doesn't make a difference, because all you know is that they are going to take you under.

And, God (laughing of course) responds, "If I wanted those waves to take you under, don't you think they would have you by now?  Water moves fast, ASK PHARAOH!  And is it not true that even if I let those waves engulf you, am I not the ONLY ONE who can bring you out?  Did I NOT tell you that I would NEVER LEAVE  NOR FORSAKE you?  So, why then are you treating me like I'm the slow one?  YOU SLOW!"

I'm making a vow RIGHT NOW to stop panicking about what God has planned for my life.  He said, "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye" (Psalm 32:8).  And that's what I want.  I want to go in the direction that HE wants me to go in.  And when I get there, I won't have to worry about if I can do it, because He said that he is going to TEACH ME, and PLACE ME THERE!  That means if I end up doing something that He did not guide me to, I probably won't even know what do when I get there anyway!! And then I'm not going to want to see it through, because it was not for me.  BUT, Philippians 1:6 say, "He who has begun a good work in you, will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ". So let me STOP trying to guide myself with MY EYE, and let Him guide me with HIS EYE, so that not only will I:

BE IN THE RIGHT PLACE, I will KNOW MY PLACE, and I will STAY IN MY PLACE! 

*I know that last part turned into something else, but I was on a roll!!

You Think You Wanna Know...But You Not Ready! John 16:12-15

Frustration.  That's the word that sums up how we may feel when we are not getting answers to the questions that we have prayed for.  Of course, as I write this, I can think of many other words to describe this feeling, but we'll stick with that one. I personally have found myself BEGGING for answers.  I mean praying hard enough that it no longer sounds like prayer, it sounds like pleading.  (*Note: I'll have to ask my pastor what's the difference, and is it wrong in some way?)
Right now, for me it's THE PLAN!  I can see my hands literally shaking in frustration, "LORD WHAT IS THE PLAN?" And He's looking at me saying: "First, who do you think you are talking to?  Did you just raise your voice at ME? I know you are frustrated and all, but you better watch that tone!" :)       

And THE PLAN is everything.  From what I should be doing with my life, can I be doing more to please Him?  What about those things I've asked to be revealed to me? The blessings?  The answers to those questions I've asked.  When I read John 16:12, when Jesus was preparing the disciples...it hit me.  The verses read:

¹² “I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear. ¹³ But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come. ¹⁴ He will glorify me because it is from me that he will receive what he will make known to you. ¹⁵ All that belongs to the Father is mine. That is why I said the Spirit will receive from me what he will make known to you.”


What if He is simply saying, "I could tell you, but YOU'RE NOT READY! I can't give it all to you RIGHT NOW! And now that I'm typing this, I can also hear Him saying, "What do you think I'm going to do, forget?!"

The scripture says He will GUIDE YOU into truth, and TELL YOU what is YET TO COME! That means that even in my UNKNOWING,  I ALREADY KNOW, because HE KNOWS!!

That feels good!  Ok...let me stop right here because this is turning into a PART 2: Panicking on the Plan! Jump there now!

     

Finding my Piece/Peace Luke 15:8-10

I figured I should post my most current "revelation" while in the Word this morning as a starting post after The Secret Place.  While searching for another verse in Luke, I ran across Luke 15:8-10.  I admit that I certainly had never read this verse, but it spoke to me in so many ways, I instantly began to write.  I came up with so many different titles including:

• The ONE THING that Stole My Joy! (of course I would be negative Nancy first..not today Satan)
• Rejoice Together!!
• I Have Found the Piece/Peace which I Lost!
• Let Me Be the ONE REPENTING SINNER, I Want to Rejoice!

just to name a few.  (Now I see how preachers can get at least three Sundays worth of message from two versus!!)  So here's the verses:

⁸ “Or what woman, having ten silver coins, if she loses one coin, does not light a lamp, sweep the house, and search carefully until she finds it? ⁹ And when she has found it, she calls her friends and neighbors together, saying, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found the piece which I lost!’ ¹⁰ Likewise, I say to you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”

"WOW", I thought.  Oh how long I kept the light on and "swept" my house looking for that precious piece/peace.  I looked EVERYWHERE!  I called on friends, but it certainly wasn't to rejoice, it was to complain about not being able to find it.  I was MAD!  Because I never felt like I had LOST my piece/peace, I just KNEW someone or something had STOLEN IT!  Or...did I GIVE it away?  The hurt, confusion, and anger of it not being there certainly trumped the thoughts of how happy I would be when I found it!  And "search carefully?"...PLEASE!!  I turned my house and my world upside down looking for it. Soon, the mess was too much for me to bear, and I gave up looking for it all together.  I let people and situations into my life that I thought could replace it, most of whom didn't even know what IT was, let alone replace it, nor did they have the power or desire to do so.  This went on for YEARS and YEARS!!  Can you imagine how many lanterns, brooms, and false findings that would bring, and the toll searching was having on my life?  I missed blessings, I missed opportunities, I missed time with my family and friends, I missed...ME!

Then, finally the day came when I at least came into a place that I could settle myself, start over, and begin looking for my piece/peace.  It was the day I started to attend church.  I knew it wasn't time to call my friends and neighbors to rejoice with me, because the only thing I did was strategically searched as opposed to ransacking my world.  BUT OHH....the day I JOINED church...that was the day I FOUND my piece/peace.  I didn't find it on my own...I HAD HELP!  God the Father, Jesus the Son, the Holy Spirit, my new pastor, my new church family, certain friends and family all became lights and brooms in my life.  And you better believe I was calling ALL my friends, family, and neighbors to let them know I found my piece/peace and they could now REJOICE with me!.  The moment I went to that alter, confessed my sins and my belief in the resurrection, and asked for forgiveness, I knew my life would never be the same.  I could finally stop searching for my piece/peace. 

I can hear Jesus chuckling right now even as I write (he does have a sense of humor, ya know..), "Princess (that's his name for me)... I AM THE PRINCE OF PEACE.  As long as you remember where I AM, right with you, you will NEVER search for this piece/peace again.

Well, I BELIEVE you Daddy! Better late than never.

     

Coming up:

"Loosed in the Fire" Reflections after reading Daniel 3

"Girl, You Ain't Ready" Reflections after reading John 16: 12-15    

The Secret Place of the Most High

I wrote this poem years ago after reading one of my favorite Bible verses, Psalm 91.  It's a reflection of how I feel when I'm in my Secret Place with the Most High.  What does your secret place look like?  How do you feel in your secret place when you are with Him? 

The Secret Place of the Most High

When I feel life is out of control

And this whole world is passing me by

I find refuge and solace

In the Secret Place of the Most High

Welcomed, comforted, unconditionally loved

No hote or rejection shown

I arrive in total solitude

Alone but not alone

In the Secret Place I can cry all day
Or laugh until I do the same
And if I do both at the same time
My host doesn't think I'm insane

And when the day is done

The Most High rocks me slowly to sleep

He's never broken His sacred promise

My soul He said He'll keep

So when you feel you can't go on

And would rather lay down and die

You too can find peace and rest, in

The Secret Place of the Most High