When I pray, I make sure that I thank God for EVERYTHING He has truly blessed me with...right after I have asked for forgiveness and prayed for my friends and family, and before I lift myself up and bring my own prayer requests before the Lord. It seems like the perfect location. So, I have a few things that I have been praying for lately, at the top of the list right now is completing the process of owning a home. I ask God to please have HIS hand on the process, and let HIS will be done...even if that means this is not the year for me to purchase a home.
A few days ago, as I prayed, I asked God to lead me to what I should be focusing on through this process, and all of the other "desires of my heart" that I have put before Him. Sure enough, I open up my trusted anointed "Woman Thou Art Loosed" Bible (that would be the one that look like it has survived a few natural disasters ...if you don't have one yet, YOU WILL) and sure enough the first thing I ran across was an article about being content that was attached to 1 Timothy 6.
Now, there were SO MANY things that I will definitely come back and post about from this chapter of Timothy, one of which being the first four verses that speaks about not being disrespectful to those in leadership positions.
***Let us pause for a "GOD IS WORKING ON ME" MOMENT***:
I have had an authoritative complex since I was a child, and it is not good. It did, and has continued to get me into trouble both knowingly and unknowingly. It's not that I am disrespectful to leaders, or do not like to take direction...it's the whole "pull rank" aspect that I have ALWAYS had a problem with. I know this is something that I need to pray and work on, and something that could definitely block blessings that are mine to have. Help me lawd!
***We now return to the scheduled post...pray for me***
Anywho...CONTENTMENT! 1 Timothy 6:6-12 (Amplified version) reads:
6[And it is, indeed, a source of immense profit, for] godliness accompanied with contentment (that contentment which is a sense of [d]inward sufficiency) is great and abundant gain.
7For we brought nothing into the world, and obviously we cannot take anything out of the world;
8But if we have food and clothing, with these we shall be content (satisfied).
9But those who crave to be rich fall into temptation and a snare and into many foolish (useless, godless) and hurtful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction and miserable perishing.
10For the love of money is a root of all evils; it is through this craving that some have been led astray and have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves through with many [e]acute [mental] pangs.
11But as for you, O man of God, flee from all these things; aim at and pursue righteousness (right standing with God and true goodness), godliness (which is the loving fear of God and being Christlike), faith, love, steadfastness (patience), and gentleness of heart.
12Fight the good fight of the faith; lay hold of the eternal life to which you were summoned and [for which] you confessed the good confession [of faith] before many witnesses.
I sat there, and I meditated on this. Suddenly, I realized, I have been thanking God for what He has blessed me with, but I have NOT been showing that I am CONTENT with what he has blessed me with. Am I content? Well, sure I am. Do I ACT LIKE I'M CONTENT?...YES! That is EXACTLY what I do...I "ACT" like I am content. There is ALWAYS a "but". "Lord...thank you for me having a place to stay...but (it's too small, I need a second bedroom, and quiet neighbors)"; "Lord...thank you for having a job...but (I am so ready to move on, and get a better salary, and be in a leadership position)"; Lord...thank you for clothes on my back...but (dang, I sure would like to have those Donna Karen slacks I saw at Macy's". And although these BUT is not said out loud, it is sure in the depths of my heart...and He sees that better than He sees ANYTHING. And He is certainly saying "If you don't get your BUT out of here!!" And it make sense for Him to say so. Think about this: Once you say "but" in ANY sentence, it negates whatever you said before that "but". So, whatever you said before but, no longer matters, you may as well have not even said it! (Go ahead...I'll give you a moment to test it out...)
No big epiphany, just a simple conclusion after reflecting. I simply need to START ACTUALLY BEING, NOT "ACTING" like I am CONTENT. I need to sit myself down somewhere and be content with my one bedroom apartment and my noisy neighbors, my job that I have definitely learned so many things on, and my clothes that at least fit and are presentable!
So, right now, God is simply saying to me,
"MaNesha, your blessings and the desire of your hear will come in due time. Meanwhile, why don't you just be content with what you have? Love on that coffee table that look like you have three kids and it's only you... go home and twist the door knob to your apartment that you loved when you first moved in (now all of a sudden it's TOO SMALL o_0) and fall in love with it again. And when you look around, I would have blessed you with that two bedroom condo that you want because you have shown me that you appreciate and are content with WHATEVER I bless you with...because I HAVE BLESSED YOU! And another thang...you got some things that you could be working on. You see verses 11-12? Have you been aiming at righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, and gentleness of heart? And let us NOT EVEN talk about your faith! The last thing you should be "buting" about are material things, get that SPIRIT right!"
And so it is Lord. I will certainly start working on being content with the things that You have blessed me with, NO "BUTS" about it!
That's all folks!
Be content and you will surely be blessed! HE said it, NOT ME!
Be content and you will surely be blessed! HE said it, NOT ME!
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