I've been in both good and bad spirit since the end of last week and the beginning of this week. But, God is good, I'm alive, and my spirit was so refreshed and renewed this morning that I felt like reflecting, so here I am.
I don't think that I've shared with you all why I stopped attending church for so long, so I'll take the time to let you in on the story. First, I grew up in the church...EVERY SUNDAY, Thursday choir rehearsal, and Saturday "Youth on Fire". I loved it. But, something happened along the way, somewhere around the age of 16. I'll give you a sec to do the math...YES, it has been FIFTEEN years since I actually belonged to and have gone to church regularly. Anywho...I stopped going for very specific reasons. I AM NOT SAYING I WAS RIGHT, I'm just telling y'all my story. Those reasons varied, most of them had to do with the church politics, people, and the biggest one was that I felt that I had just outgrown the church, I wasn't being fed. And that's not to say it was a bad church, it's actually an awesome church, just wasn't for me anymore. So, instead of looking for another church home, I was a "religious non-church goer".
Fast forward to today. I'm back in the church, ready to join ministries, thirsty for and maturing in the word...all that things that I had hoped for in a church. I'm a helpful person by nature. So when I joined this church (or even BEFORE I joined) I was already volunteering myself to help out in different ministries. Suddenly, things started looking too familiar.
Egotistical, territorial, "what you think you doin'?, "what is your REAL motive o_0?", (among many other) spirits ALL OVER THE PLACE! Let me tell you, trying to work with church folks has GOT TO BE SOME OF THE HARDEST WORK YOU COULD EVER SIGN UP FOR! Yes, I'm...TALKIN' 'BOUT THE CHURCH FOLKS, and I AIN'T SHAME!
Now that I can honestly admit that the "church folks" is essentially one of the top reasons why I stopped attending, I must stay prayed up in my spirit to not let that happen again. Just a little reminder: As I type this, even as I prayed this morning the Devil is/was certainly close, watching and listening, and planning an attack. But I can always ONE UP him if I remain in prayer and in the word, he will certainly be REBUKED!
It all makes sense. SELF CHECK/REFLECTION: I am working on behalf of and through the Trinity, not the people in the church. Not to gain favor in man, but to gain favor in the Lord. Not to reap any blessings from them, but to be blessed in due season by the Lord. Therefore, just as the scripture has told me, I CANNOT become relaxed in my courage to even step up and do works in the church, and be a blessing to any person or ministry as a whole. With that said, I will continue to volunteer myself or accept requests for help within the church...or boldly deny the ones that I simply may not be able to do. I will not lose heart and grow weary while doing good. For in due season I WILL reap...